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Jan 07, 2022
I was listening a few days ago to a coach asking how to change a belief on someone. She sounded like a very engaged coach that has done a good amount of studying of the subject. She was facing the challenge to eliminate a limiting belief that her client had. So she was kind of frustrated trying to find ways to help her client to change and move forward towards progress .
That was the moment I had this INSIGHT; whatever we want to give, we have to be it first.  If we want to teach confidence we have to be confident, if we want to teach patience we have to be patient and so forth.  If we have to create change, we need to be change. What i mean by this, is that we can't change anyone, we can't do anybody's work, we can only help and influence.
I consistently tell my students: you have to own what they do and take responsibility for their own stuff. We have to manage our own inner world, not somebody else's. The same is true for us coaches. We can do so much but then we have to let go! We can only actively change one person and that is ourselves.
I love the metaphor of Apollo, the archer. He prepares rigorously but once he releases the arrow, he needs to let go of the result.
We have an influence on the people we coach but the responsibility for their change and achievements is finally on their corner.
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